The Tool Section

Earlier this morning i walked into a Lowes looking to shop for paint supplies. Now i am not unfamiliar with shopping in these sorts of places. I spent a significant portion of my youth weaving my way through Home Depots and Lowes stores. But as i cannot possibly know where everything is, i am forced from time to time to ask one of the employees where i might find a particular item. And this morning i remembered why i prefer not to ask at all.

While turning a corner i spotted an older, balding gentelman wearing the--somewhat anti-manly--blue Lowes apron. I asked, "Excuse me, where might i find the hand sanders"? His reply i must say threw me and continues to throw me into a funk. With an air of indifference and a half gesture, he pointed and said, "the tool section."

Let's all pause for a moment to consider the implications of such a statement:

*pause*

Consider for a moment being me, a student of philosophy, and somehow having to make sense of such an unforgivable generalization. The tool section? I'm at Lowes! Everywhere is the tool section! One can easily imagine that prior to the founding of Lowes, a board of directors were deciding which name to call their store: either Lowes or The Tool Section. Every Lowes is the tool section of town. Every section within Lowes has tools. There is not a one tool that does not have a section or section that does not have tools. My logic is flawless. I am employing the simple law of identity. A thing which is a tool section by definition has tools. Every section of Lowes has tools, therefore tools reside in every section. Impeccable philosophy.

The worst part was his mediocre attempt at a pointing gesture. It was one of those where the guy slouches in a relaxed position, dragges his arm up one third the length of his body, and lifts, if you can call it that, his pointer finger in the "i don't really care if you find where i'm telling you to go" position. How can you even call that pointing? It's like his finger was taking a nap on some kind of invisible hammock and i had woke it from its slumber.

And there is a face that goes with this kind of gesture. You all know what i mean: mouth agape, eyes on the cealing. All the while a yawn and sigh accompany the whole sharade.

The tool section? Seriously? I think the guy could have done us both a favor, lifted his arm one third the length of his body, and "pointed" toward himself. "Excuse me, where is the tool section"?